When I left here last Sunday, I headed to the Debert for a 24 hour retreat with a bunch of clergy colleagues. Well, first I made a couple of stops to pick some of those colleagues up, including Christine Smaller, all the way from Ontario, who is with us this morning and I also put her to work at the Food Bank on Wednesday! The keynote speaker, the Rev. Susan Sparks, who we ‘Zoomed in from New York, said that you must be able to sum up your sermon in one theme sentence. To distill that message into one sentence that you want your listeners to remember. That’s not as easy as you might think, but it does help focus my writing, especially when I go off on a tangent… you folks have no idea what I delete while I’m writing! It would be an interesting exercise to ask you to sum up my sermon in one sentence after I’ve preached it, whether I’ve hit the mark or not. 😉
You may remember that Jessie offered a study group this spring on Christian Cliches and one week, I think maybe even week one, it was Everything Happens for a Reason. You’ve heard it… perhaps had it said to you… perhaps said it to someone else… striving to provide comfort. But does everything happen for a reason?
Dr. Kate Bowler, is a New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and a professor at Duke University. She studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves about success, suffering, and whether (or not) we’re capable of change. In her twenties, she became obsessed with writing the first history of the movement called the “prosperity gospel”—which promises that God will reward you with health and wealth if you have the right kind of faith. She researched and traveled across Canada and the United States interviewing megachurch leaders and televangelists and everyday believers about how they make spiritual meaning out of the good and bad in their lives. The result was the book, Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel, which received widespread media attention and a lot of puns about being #blessed. At age 35, she was unexpectedly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, causing her to think in different terms about the research and beliefs she had been studying. She penned the New York Times bestselling memoir, Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I’ve Loved), which tells the story of her struggle to understand the personal and intellectual dimensions of the American belief that all tragedies are tests of character. (https://katebowler.com)
Listen to this excerpt from a New York Times article she wrote: A neighbor knocked on our door to tell my husband that everything happens for a reason. “I’d love to hear it,” my husband said. “Pardon?” she said, startled. “I’d love to hear the reason my wife is dying,” he said, in that sweet and sour way he has. My neighbor wasn’t trying to sell him a spiritual guarantee. But there was a reason she wanted to fill that silence around why some people die young and others grow old… She wanted some kind of order behind this chaos. Because the opposite of #blessed is leaving a husband and a toddler behind, and people can’t quite let themselves say it: “Wow. That’s awful.” There has to be a reason, because without one we are left as helpless and possibly as unlucky as everyone else. One of the most endearing and saddest things about being sick is watching people’s attempts to make sense of your problem.
For those of you on the Pastoral Care Team, we’ve talked about this haven’t we? We don’t need to fix something or have the answer in order to provide comfort and care.
Most of pastoral care is simply showing up! Being willing to sit with a person’s pain, acknowledge it, not try to minimize it or fix it.
Most of you have heard of the five stages or phases of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, those were made well known by Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. And please remember that NOBODY moves through those stages or phases in a nice neat, linear fashion. Dr. Kübler-Ross never meant it that way. Death and grief expert David Kessler, who worked closely with Kübler-Ross, was granted permission by her family to add “meaning” as a stage to her model, and he published Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief in 2019. (https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/the-sixth-stage-of-grief/)
So what has this got to do with us, and our scriptures? Well, let’s see if I can connect them. First of all, you need to know that Paul writes this letter to the church in Philippi from prison. He’s not been to a spa and reached some higher plane… he’s in prison, perhaps rock hewn, probably damp and cold overnight and hot and sweltering in the day. Let’s listen to these words that overflow with love and meaning making from Paul as written down in Philippians 1:
1 Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, with the bishops[a] and deacons: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
3 I thank my God for every remembrance of you, 4 always in every one of my prayers for all of you, praying with joy 5 for your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete[c] it until the day of Jesus Christ. 7 It is right for me to think this way about all of you, because I hold you in my heart,[d] for all of you are my partners in God’s grace,[e] both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. 8 For God is my witness, how I long for all of you with the tender affection of Christ Jesus. 9 And this is my prayer, that your love may overflow more and more with knowledge and full insight 10 to help you to determine what really matters, so that in the day of Christ you may be pure and blameless, 11 having produced the harvest[f] of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God.
12 I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually resulted in the progress of the gospel, 13 so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard[g] and to everyone else that my imprisonment is for Christ, 14 and most of the brothers and sisters, having been made confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, dare to speak the word[h] with greater boldness and without fear.
15 Some proclaim Christ from envy and rivalry but others from goodwill. 16 These proclaim Christ out of love, knowing that I have been put here for the defense of the gospel; 17 the others proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but intending to increase my suffering in my imprisonment. 18 What does it matter? Just this, that Christ is proclaimed in every way, whether out of false motives or true, and in that I rejoice.
Paul is not my favourite biblical character… he can be the worst of preachy preachers. He can be rigid and dogmatic. He can be lecturing and critical. He can be dismissive and sanctimonious. I told you he’s not my favourite character. 😉 I also have to remind myself, or be reminded, that Paul’s letters are about the earliest Christian communities… often written in response to some sort of issue… that they are written before the gospels… and that we only have Paul’s side of the story… But this section of this letter is beautiful. His love for his companions overflows the pages.
3 I thank my God for every remembrance of you, 4 always in every one of my prayers for all of you, praying with joy 5 for your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. 7 It is right for me to think this way about all of you, because I hold you in my heart, for all of you are my partners in God’s grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I long for all of you with the tender affection of Christ Jesus.
How can we not be moved by such words. Imagine saying those words to one another?
Just those first words: 3 I thank my God for every remembrance of you, 4 always in every one of my prayers for all of you, praying with joy 5 for your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.
Say it after me…
3 I thank my God for every remembrance of you,
4 always in every one of my prayers for all of you,
praying with joy 5 for your partnership in the gospel
from the first day until now.
Now I’m going to invite you to find a partner, and invite you to say it to each other, for those of you on Zoom or Facebook Live, you and I are going to say it to each other. I’m not exactly sure how this is going to work… haven’t quite mastered hybrid or integrated worship yet. Has everyone in the sanctuary got a partner?
3 I thank my God for every remembrance of you,
4 always in every one of my prayers for all of you,
praying with joy 5 for your partnership in the gospel
from the first day until now.
I could probably stop preaching now. Is anyone feeling a little verklempt? PAUSE
He goes on to say, I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually resulted in the progress of the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guardand to everyone else that my imprisonment is for Christ, and most of the brothers and sisters, having been made confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, dare to speak the word with greater boldness and without fear.
Paul is letting the church, that fledgling community that he founded in Philippi, that he is fine. Is Paul saying that everything happens for a reason? That he has been imprisoned in order for the gospel of Jesus to be spread? Or is he just as human as the rest of us and trying to make meaning of his experience? Don’t misunderstand me. I believe that God can take our worst experiences and with time and tears and supportive and loving people around us we come out the other side, with a greater sense of meaning and purpose. But that doesn’t mean that God caused those events to happen in order for us to learn some grand lesson. It simply means that God is with us in our worst moments, even when it feels like God is absent… and that love is still present… even when it feels like it’s absent. What kind of God would cause pain just to teach us something? Bad things happen… sometime because of our own decisions and choices… sometimes because of others’ decisions and choices… and sometimes it just happens…
We have collectively come through the trauma of Covid; lives disrupted, mental health challenges, economic turmoil, fear and anxiety of each other, when in other crises we were able to draw closer to one another. There have also been some significant positive outcomes and learnings over the past two years. Thanks to all of you for responding so quickly when I sent that message last night. I’ll include all the responses in my written text, but will highlight just some of them.
- More family time
- Work from home
- More socially connected with family that don’t live near
- Baking skills improved
- Artistic ability explored
- Personal health improved… More physical activity and Better prepared meals
- The appreciation of others when you do gather
- Permission NOT to be an extravert
- Here in the church, we have learned just how adaptable we are!
- People were more aware of their surroundings and how what they did or didn’t do impact other peoples lives.
- Sweat pants became fashion.
- Pants were optional.
- Less gas was being used.
- People could work from home and still can.
- Virtual learning became an option.
- Fewer meetings
- Dropping unnecessary processes
- More time with family
- Many people reassessed or re-evaluate how they were spending time
- Working in your pajamas
- Letting your hair grow out (wild)
- Finishing every show on Netflix (not really )
- I think the positive outcome is learning and using Zoom. It kept people connected. Something we would never have started but did because we were forced to.
- One positive of COVID last fall/winter was that there were no reported cases of influenza. Washing hands, wearing a mask and not shaking hands or hugging really made a difference- perhaps not emotionally though.
- Covid for me was a permission slip; It unexpectedly and forcefully made me re-evaluate my career at age 50! That jolt gave the opportunity to think about what was important and a chance to do something meaningful. COVID had been do drastic things without the feedback of ” have you lost it” (which it would have been) to ” good for you, everyone is doing what they need to”
- Connecting with others around the world virtually for education and entertainment.
- Qigong and Tai chi training
- Storytelling exchanges.
- Me teaching class online with attendees from Europe, Canada and the US.
- A reimagination of connections leading to an opening up new ways to interact in society. I have found many new friends and established a deeper understanding of old friends.
- Personal: more awareness of the mechanism of transfer of microbes between persons, and role of masking in preventing this. In church: learning to feel confident when using modern technology.
- Made us more aware of our surroundings. Made us more caring.. and being there for our loved ones
- COVID has proven that even managers can work from home quite well. This means I could be able to work longer than planned instead of having to take early retirement due to my husband’s health problem.
It is apparent from just those few things that I highlighted, some really positive things have come out of Covid. But did God cause Covid to happen? No! God didn’t cause Covid to happen… it happened… We have been in and out of the stages of grief as we have grappled with so many changes and disrupted plans: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. At least I trust I’m not the only one. And I think we are into the meaning making part of the process… just as Paul was when he wrote that letter to the Philippians. He was filled with love and sense that his imprisonment had meaning.
Together, we can take love and make meaning out of all of our circumstances.
Thanks be to God for the challenge and the opportunity, amen.
1 Philippians 1: 1-18a
May 22, 2022
Rev. Catherine MacDonald